I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
