I looked at my own cervix.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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