i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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