He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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