I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
