Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize