Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
as a side note pls kill me
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
