Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
