Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
