was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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