There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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