oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
