I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize