Can i not drive my cunt home
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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