Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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