i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
