Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
sick fucks of a feather flock together
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
