I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
