I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize