She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
