she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
