i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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