dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Panties = found
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize