around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
