Please, let me fuck your mom
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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