Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
