Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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