I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
