you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize