did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
