Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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