I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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