but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
