is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
