Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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