does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
