It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize