I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
