I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
