'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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