just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize