So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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