Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
