evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Pooping to opera.
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