I will die if light touches me.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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