my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
