I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
