You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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