RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
