Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
