Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
