Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
