i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
