i'm signing you up for texting rehab
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
