is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
