I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize