am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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